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First, some context. In tenth grade, I made a Google Doc containing a list of pretty much everything that I hated. Most of it was political, personal, or otherwise depressing, but there were some very strange entries in that list, which I have sifted through and compiled here.
The original document had bright red Comic Sans on a black background, but I decided not to go with that for this website page... :P
Lastly, this page has two sections. The first section presents the strange list entries as-is, with no added context. The second section explains, or at least ATTEMPTS to explain, why I hated those things. Sometimes I have absolutely no idea!
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SECTION ONE (with NO context)
Olive Sandwich Ninjas
Frolicking Space Aliens
Kangaroo Hypnosis screamers
The accent over the e in Pokemon
The French verb "aller"
Snorlax
Leaf blowers
Triangles
Cookie jars
Airplanes hitting me in the stomach
The Leaf Cup
Pokemon HeartGold cartridges being stabbed with pitchforks
Naboo
Curious George action figures
Pinochle
Coffin-Draining English Muffins
Inchworm murderers
Owl swears
The space-time continuum
OneRepublic hand washing tutorials
SECTION TWO (with context provided)
Olive Sandwich Ninjas - In the mobile game "Subway Surfers", one of the unlockable characters is a ninja named... well, just Ninja, apparently. A friend of mine once told me that while he was playing as Ninja, he turned into an "olive sandwich", and the game crashed. He was obviously lying, but I believed him for several years. Not sure why I would outright hate Ninja, though.
Frolicking Space Aliens - The same friend from the previous entry also lied about Minecraft. Among other things, he said that there were tall white "frolicking space aliens" appearing from UFOs. I believed him for quite some time. Again, not sure why I would hate these aliens.
Kangaroo Hypnosis screamers - When I was, like, eight, I snuck onto YouTube and ended up down the rabbit hole of "hypnosis" videos. They're basically spiraling black and white backgrounds with hard-to-read text describing what is apparently "happening" to one's mind/body. I found one which claimed to turn you into a kangaroo. At the end of the video, a jumpscare/screamer popped up, and scared the living daylights out of me. I'm not sure if the video is still up, but I'm not brave enough to check!
The accent over the e in Pokemon - It's hard to type. Simple as that.
The French verb "aller" - "Aller" means "to go". It's far from the hardest French verb, and I don't have any problems with going places, so I dunno why I would hate it?
Snorlax - In Pokemon HeartGold, a snoozing Snorlax blocks the way to several areas in the Kanto region. It took me 2+ years to figure out how to wake the dang thing up with the flute, because a kid on my bus told me false information about the Radio Tower. He also lied to me about a way to receive a Level 100 Alakazam in exchange for the legendary Suicune. Curses...
Leaf blowers - They're loud, I guess? Not sure.
Triangles - I genuinely do not know why the heck I would hate triangles! They're one of the easier geometry-class shapes, too!
Cookie jars - I'm pretty sure this one refers to how in kindergarten, these two (or three?) boys would wait for me outside the school bus, and sing "Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar?" at me every day.
Airplanes hitting me in the stomach - The little brother of my best friend from elementary school threw a large model airplane at my stomach. It hurt. And then he said it was a "mosquito bite". Jerk!
The Leaf Cup - One of the Grand Prix cups from Mario Kart Wii. I think it's the worst cup in the game, sure, but "hate" seems excessive.
Pokemon HeartGold cartridges being stabbed with pitchforks - I had reccuring nighmares about this scenario in eighth grade.
Naboo - Naboo is a planet from Star Wars... but I'm 99% sure this entry was actually meant to refer to Tabuu from Super Smash Bros. Brawl?
Curious George action figures - A family member tripped over one. She ended up fine, but the incident scared me as a kid. "Figurine" is probably a more accurate term than "action figure" in this case.
Pinochle - A board game... that I don't recall ever playing.
Coffin-Draining English Muffins - Tiny, lightweight, annoying bouncy birds from an old Flash game. I don't know why I started calling them that.
Inchworm murderers - I like inchworms! But only if they're ALIVE, dangit!
Owl swears - A book series about owls, titled "Guardians of Ga'Hoole", gives the owls their own slang words, including swears like "sprink" and "racdrops". I didn't like swear words back then, and I guess owl cusses are included in that?
The space-time continuum - A more roundabout way of saying I hate the passage of time.
OneRepublic hand washing tutorials - The music band OneRepublic went on a TV show and sang a song about hand washing. This was before COVID-19, mind you. We watched it in Health class, and I hated it for some reason, I guess? Side note: A kid at my school claimed to be the fourth-or-so cousin of the OneRepublic drummer. This kid also hated the creator of Pokemon, and once threatened to kill him with a "radioactive blowtorch". Uh, well, then...
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